On Authenticity vs. Getting Over . . .

I find it astonishing the great number of people in this world who are satisfied with doing just enough to get by. I understand it intellectually, yet still grapple with comprehending it completely.

I mean, for what other purpose are we here but to do our absolute best all the time? If you’re not going to give 100%, why even bother? It’s a waste of time, which in my opinion, is the greatest of all sins.

Is it that these folks who do just enough hope that no one else will notice? Shit, you know if you aren’t doing your best. Why do you need someone else to check you?

I’m not perfect, but fuck, I always try to do my best. How can one be cool going through life giving as little as necessary? If you don’t give a shit enough to care about whatever it is you’re doing, at least be egotistical enough that you don’t want to look bad doing it.

As a cat who always strives to become more authentic, folks who don’t piss me off more and more. And here I thought all this time that life gets easier. What I’ve recently realized is that it actually gets harder. Especially for those who are constantly reaching for something higher. What gets easier maybe is how one deals with it.

In a world riddled with mothafuckas who are cool with gettin’ over, a cat who is authentic often finds himself alone. Not lonely necessarily, but most definitely alone.

If everybody just did their fucking part, the world would instantly be a better place. But, naw, these mothafuckas who do just enough is holding shit up for everybody. It amazes me the amount of folks who are cool with other people thinking they did a great job, as opposed to knowing one did a great job. Then, these bitches have the nerve to get upset if you call them on their bullshit. Mothafucka, if you had your shit together, I wouldn’t have anything to say to you.


If you know you’re not cutting it, at least be humble enough to admit it. And furthermore, don’t just admit it, do something about it.

I think being great makes people uncomfortable. As a result, people settle for just enough.

It’s the same reason why people cough at certain passages during a Keith Jarrett concert. That beauty makes them confront their lack of effort and they detest it. While I don’t condone his meltdowns, I do understand them. Imagine how Jesus must have felt?

What the fuck did Martin Luther King die for? For folks to do just enough? Malcolm X, Gandhi, . . .?

Well, fuck that! I would never give my life for a group of sorry-ass, lazy bitches. It’s a waste, because in the end, those very mothafuckas don’t appreciate it. Those closest to Jesus sold him out. The same goes for Malcolm and Martin.

You don’t know who’s real in you life ’til the shit’s ’bout to go down. Very few mothafuckas in this world have your back for real. People say they do, but you don’t know until you know. So, if you have at least one authentic mothafucka in yo’ life, you betta hold on.

Y’all didn’t hear me.

I said, if you have at least one authentic mothafucka in yo’ life, you betta hold on. Life is filled with a bunch of fake mothafuckas. Always has been from the beginning.

It’s a choice. Do you know which side you’re on? It’s no wonder we only use about 10% of our brain power. The rest is used for sifting through bullshit, daily. It’s enough having to deal with your own stuff, then to constantly have to carry the weight of lazy mothafuckas is quite a burden.

This shit doesn’t get any easier. I am convinced that I will never be able to rest for this. Never. I will continue to have to fight to be authentic ’til I die. Maybe, I’ll rest when I die.

To be authentic is to be alone. Yeah, me, Jesus, and Tupac…

– Nicholas Payton